


==> John: Piss on your best friend.

by Aritod (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cybersex, M/M, Omorashi, Pesterlog, Trans John, Watersports, idk w/e, john is trans also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 22:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10818366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Aritod
Summary: EB: do you know what that means?TG: enlighten meEB: it means i have to pee really, really, badly.EB: how does that make you feel?TG: depressed





	==> John: Piss on your best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday to my moirail john i hate myself
> 
> edit: this has 25 kudos you are all filthy piss kinkers

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]! --

EB: dave?  
EB: dave i know you're online! don't ignore me.  
EB: dave...  
TG: woah shit sorry man i was just  
TG: busy  
TG: yeah sorry  
TG: whats up  
EB: dave, that's such a lame excuse. you weren't busy for like... 23 minutes!   
TG: you counted  
TG: why  
TG: nevermind im not gonna question it  
TG: what did you want egbert  
EB: i just wanted to talk to you! i don't see literally anything wrong with just wanting to message my favorite bro in the entire universe, dave.  
TG: you want something from me  
TG: spill it what the hell is it  
TG: if youre going to ask me to fly back up to washington again i told you man i cant make it until like  
TG: this summer  
TG: so you have to wait a few months  
EB: no, no! it's not that! though, that... sounds really nice.  
EB: you coming up this summer, i mean.  
TG: aha so you did want something from me  
EB: shut up, dave!  
EB: okay, so i'm not going to ask anything of you, because that's dumb. i'm just going to.  
EB: let the fact slip.  
EB: that i.  
TG: what  
EB: shush! let me speak.  
EB: as i was saying.  
EB: i drank a lot of apple juice today, dave.  
TG: ok  
EB: do you know what that means?  
TG: enlighten me  
EB: it means i have to pee really, really, badly.  
EB: how does that make you feel?  
TG: depressed  
EB: really, dave? come on.  
EB: give me the reply you know you want to give me.  
EB: :B  
TG: okay well  
TG: in that case  
TG: im kind of regretting not asking you to do this the last time i was up there with you  
TG: but thats besides the point  
TG: this is some weird kinky plan of yours isnt it  
TG: who the fuck tells their best bro that they gotta pee really badly like that  
TG: all seductive like  
TG: not many people egbert  
EB: don't make me shush you again!  
EB: you're rambling.  
EB: the point is.  
EB: i really have to pee and i've been holding it for...  
EB: a while? i think?  
EB: like, at least until this morning.  
EB: and it's evening now and my legs are shaking and i'm having a really hard time not whimpering your name.  
EB: dave...  
EB: like that.  
EB: no wait.  
EB: a-ah, d-dave...~!  
EB: like that!  
TG: jesus fucking christ dude thats  
TG: thats  
TG: really bad  
TG: really hot but really bad  
TG: surprised daddy egbert isnt on your ass telling you to take a piss already  
TG: hard not to notice a loud as fuck horny teenager like you walking around the house in your state  
TG: oh whats wrong son  
TG: nothing dad im just holding my pee because i want my boyfriend to cyber me so i can imagine im pissing all over his majestic body  
EB: i love it when you talk dirty.  
TG: shut the fuck up and take your pants off already  
EB: oh, demanding, aren't you? i'm so flattered, dave. thank you for being so rough with me.  
EB: i can't wait to piss all over you as payback.  
TG: payback what payback im getting you off  
TG: goddammit anyway  
TG: how badly do you have to pee  
TG: like 1-10  
EB: 7  
EB: no wait. 8.  
EB: i took another sip of juice.  
TG: hot  
TG: keep at that  
TG: gotta get the fucking egtrain up to a solid 11 before i work my strider charm on him  
EB: i'm swooning.  
TG: damn right you are  
TG: close your eyes for a second and imagine me with you  
TG: and then imagine me sliding off your ugly boxers that youre probably wearing  
TG: and then imagine me leaving you in that room for like a half an hour while i go grab a snack or some shit because i love seeing you in pain at the fault of none other than dave fucking strider  
TG: no fingering for now  
TG: fuck no  
TG: i go get some goddamn cheetos and wait this shit out while you drown yourself in piss liquid and cry out my name like you love to  
TG: lock your door by the way your dads gonna come in all like hey son whats up  
TG: oh nothing dad just cybering my boyfriend im gonna piss all the fuck over him  
TG: okay son that sounds great see you later  
TG: that wont happen like that your dads gonna probably kinkshame you highkey john  
TG: so lock your door  
TG: john where are you  
TG: john  
EB: oh, sorry dave! i just came literally everywhere imagining you voring in between my legs.  
EB: also, i drank more apple juice.  
EB: three more boxes i think.  
EB: you ramble for a long time, dave.  
TG: fucker  
TG: dont use the word vore right now thats so gross john  
TG: i dont wanna vore you i wanna watch you squirm and piss all over me  
EB: that's fair.  
EB: you told me to take my pants off. are yours off?  
TG: idk maybe whats it to you  
TG: does it really matter  
EB: yes! you can't jack off as easily if they're on.  
EB: wait  
EB: fuck  
TG: whats up  
EB: 9  
TG: 9 what  
TG: wait  
TG: oh  
TG: fuck thats hot  
EB: no it's painful dave!  
EB: i really need to pee, fuck.  
EB: fuck.  
EB: fuck.  
EB: fuck.  
TG: hold it for longer  
TG: are you touching yourself  
EB: kind of? i'm like almost touching my clit but whenever i do i kind of like... squirm more and it's not helping my really full bladder.  
EB: it's so painful but i really need to get off! i really need to pee too and the piss in me is only making me more turned on so something has to happen or else i'll explode.  
TG: woah no inflation here egbert lets keep this pg-13   
EB: i've said fuck like 40 times already. dave we're literally having sex.  
TG: i guess  
TG: sit on my face  
EB: what what?  
EB: oh.  
EB: okay. i'm crawling over your oddly scrawny body and you're smirking underneath me and i kiss that smirk right off of you because you're a fucking smart ass.  
EB: i still have my shirt on, though.  
EB: do you want it off?  
TG: why the fuck not  
TG: i take your shirt off all gentlemanlike and flick your nipple like a gentleman and then you finally get the hell on my face  
TG: goddamn egbert youre hot as shit  
TG: like not looks wise youre like  
TG: burning  
TG: in between your legs i mean  
TG: not that you arent hot but like  
TG: yeah  
EB: don't worry, dave, i know exactly what you mean.  
EB: god i can barely type.  
EB: this is really hard.  
TG: gimme a number  
EB: 11  
TG: fuck  
TG: my massive boner is killing me  
EB: okay and my bladder is killing me but you don't see me complaining!  
TG: first of all you are and have been this entire time second of all youre getting off to this so theres no use complaining  
EB: shut up.  
EB: anyway, i'm on your face and you're brushing your lips over me and i'm moaning your name.  
EB: dave, dave... you're so hot underneath me like this.  
EB: you'd be even hotter if i wasn't looking at you from such a weird angle.  
TG: i need more masturbation material describe some more shit so i can cum all over my computer  
EB: geeze, dave, i'm trying! it's hard when i can't stop shaking like this.  
EB: especially... my legs. they're shaking so much.  
EB: it's hard to catch my breath when i'm so focused on keeping all this hot piss inside of me. it's painful but it's making me feel so good.  
EB: but then you start to lick at my clit and i just lose myself and i grind myself into you even though it's making my stomach hurt even more.  
EB: fuck, dave. fuck  
EB: fuck  
EB: fuck im gonna  
EB: there's hot piss streaming down your face and a lot of it landed in your mouth and that's really hot.  
EB: i still have more.  
EB: dave i'm still aching there's more piss inside of me answer me please i'm going to die  
TG: sorry just nursing this massive boner  
TG: give me a second to reread what you just wrote like  
TG: 30 times  
TG: because im horny as all shit at this point  
TG: id tell you to send nudes but youre probably covered in piss at this point  
EB: don't break the fantasy!!!!!!!!  
TG: sorry bro  
TG: anyway theres piss all over my face and youre staring down at me like the cocky fuck you are  
TG: and im fucking all up in there slurping that piss up because mm tasty piss nothing better than the taste of egbert in the afternoon  
TG: youre still so wet  
TG: not just piss all your weird vagina excretion is there too and im slurping all that up too  
TG: fucking tasty  
EB: have you ever eaten out a vagina in your entire life?  
TG: dont break the fantasy hypocritebert uwu  
EB: you ass.  
EB: you're really good at this. you're making me feel so good, dave.  
EB: i'm grinding on your face again because i'm soaking at this point and i really need something more than just your tongue.  
EB: and then i piss on you again. this time you have your face full of john, though, so it's all getting on your face.  
EB: which is really hot.  
EB: why can't i stop pissing. how much fucking juice did i drink today.  
TG: enough for me to want to drink it all up  
TG: youre so fucking sexy john  
EB: why are you typing so slow?  
TG: theres a hand being used on my dick im so fucking sorry that im so turned on right now john  
TG: its your fault you shouldnt be complaining  
EB: i'm not! geeze.  
EB: hey dave?  
TG: yeah  
EB: i'm gonna lick that shit off your face.  
EB: i slide down a little, eyeing you and moving in and kissing you and all i taste is a whole lot of piss.  
EB: you taste better than i do.  
TG: bullshit  
EB: you taste so good, dave. your lips mixed with my gross pee taste so good!  
EB: i'm having a hard time trying to settle myself down. every time i try to get comfy your dick gets in the way!  
TG: gee really  
EB: yeah! it's really annoying. do you mind if i sit on it?  
EB: just because of how in the way it is.  
TG: go ahead  
EB: great!  
EB: i bite my lip as i slide downward a bit. i'm such a wreck right now, all flushed and everything. i can't help but moan your name as i slip onto your dick, a smirk on my face.  
EB: how do i look, dave? on top of you like this?  
EB: you're still covered in piss, by the way.  
EB: it's really gross.  
EB: dave?  
EB: sigh. it's not easy to type with three fingers shoved up inside of me either, you know!  
TG: woah  
TG: 3  
TG: thats hot  
EB: asshole.  
EB: give me a break, for once. if your once word replies mean anything, it's that you're already close to orgasming and i've barely gotten any time to do something to myself!  
TG: one word replies my ass the last like 3 were two words or more  
EB: they were still really short, dave!   
TG: yeah yeah okay  
TG: anyway  
TG: youre sitting on my dick and im fucking moaning my ass off even though your shitty excuse to get all up on me was so goddamn corny  
TG: jesus fuck man  
TG: youre really tight  
TG: youre bouncing up and down and its really hot even though i still cant fully feel my face because its covered in egbert pee  
TG: i thrust up into you and you moan my name and fuck its hot and fuck i want more so i give you more and speed up and  
TG: god  
TG: john im gonna cum  
TG: jesus fuck  
TG: john you ass tell me to cum  
EB: oh, cum for me, davey~!  
TG: im upset that you saying that made me cum  
TG: @my body that should be an instant boner killer  
TG: how are you doing  
EB: you're really good at getting me off. just looking at your red text got me all hot and bothered.  
EB: i'm covered in my own cum and gross piss, dave.  
EB: what have i done?  
TG: just had the best cybersex youll ever have in your goddamn life  
TG: was it worth it  
EB: ...  
EB: maybe.  
TG: maybe my ass  
TG: i gotta go now though dirk needs me  
EB: aw, okay.  
EB: bye, dave!  
EB: wait. before you go.  
EB: um. did you like this?  
EB: like... i don't know. did you?  
TG: more than youll ever know egbert  
TG: pester you later  
TG: peace  


\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]! -- 


End file.
